no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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