Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
