what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
