white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize