I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
