It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
this beer tastes like vomit already
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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