On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
