I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We left an ass print on the piano.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize