Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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