you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
