It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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