Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.

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  (502): All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets. http://tfl.nu/t3ff
  Replies (10) Good night (3759) Bad night (718)
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  (315): View more from New York

  a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"

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  (315): a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop" http://tfl.nu/57y7
  Replies (20) Good night (4895) Bad night (1276)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.

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  (647): im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old. http://tfl.nu/1v3o
  Replies (20) Good night (665) Bad night (2936)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.

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  (214): I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some. http://tfl.nu/ig2r
  Replies (8) Good night (4013) Bad night (841)
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  (631): View more from New York

  if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you

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  (631): if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you http://tfl.nu/ij50
  Replies (27) Good night (3365) Bad night (4111)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.

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  (770): I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia. http://tfl.nu/25qr
  Replies (14) Good night (2617) Bad night (1353)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.

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  (814): Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral. http://tfl.nu/7qfs
  Replies (5) Good night (1464) Bad night (860)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?

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  (630): I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room? http://tfl.nu/9f6x
  Replies (11) Good night (597) Bad night (1586)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight

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  (540): There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight http://tfl.nu/g8si
  Replies (0) Good night (974) Bad night (544)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.

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  (914): Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block. http://tfl.nu/om9a
  Replies (0) Good night (526) Bad night (310)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.

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  (413): Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days. http://tfl.nu/0sic
  Replies (7) Good night (675) Bad night (557)
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  (619): View more from California

  So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...

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  (619): So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush... http://tfl.nu/5wkj
  Replies (2) Good night (546) Bad night (518)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup

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  (403): i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup http://tfl.nu/p8ne
  Replies (3) Good night (604) Bad night (301)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling

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  (843): Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling http://tfl.nu/p0kx
  Replies (6) Good night (345) Bad night (714)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.

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  (425): He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth. http://tfl.nu/g2az
  Replies (6) Good night (324) Bad night (766)

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