Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign

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(714): OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign http://tfl.nu/7urn

Replies (9) Good night (2017) Bad night (571)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.

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(918): Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building. http://tfl.nu/yoz8

Replies (44) Good night (6087) Bad night (762)
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(678): View more from Georgia

So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night

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(678): So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night http://tfl.nu/pxx7

Replies (14) Good night (6504) Bad night (1204)
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(712): View more from Iowa

I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga

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(712): I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga http://tfl.nu/ngoq

Replies (10) Good night (4687) Bad night (1398)
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(417): View more from Missouri

My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.

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(417): My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah. http://tfl.nu/uiae

Replies (12) Good night (4463) Bad night (1364)
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(905): View more from Ontario

i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night

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(905): i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night http://tfl.nu/m366

Replies (12) Good night (5711) Bad night (1059)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

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(816): Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face" http://tfl.nu/0o08

Replies (54) Good night (10787) Bad night (1711)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.

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(218): Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it. http://tfl.nu/dm7u

Replies (44) Good night (8086) Bad night (2557)
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(207): View more from Maine

he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead

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(207): he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead http://tfl.nu/s4ov

Replies (7) Good night (3258) Bad night (1093)
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(705): View more from Ontario

Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?

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(705): Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right? http://tfl.nu/d74x

Replies (23) Good night (1193) Bad night (890)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.

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(678): Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool. http://tfl.nu/6mtz

Replies (10) Good night (1559) Bad night (530)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.

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(812): Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down. http://tfl.nu/9hkg

Replies (7) Good night (997) Bad night (467)
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(770): View more from Georgia

you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.

(1-770): View more from Georgia

But what if it got lost?

(770): View more from Georgia

its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.

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(770): you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in. (1-770): But what if it got lost? (770): its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it. http://tfl.nu/ord5

Replies (2) Good night (469) Bad night (292)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.

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(+44): There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though. http://tfl.nu/j5bh

Replies (2) Good night (228) Bad night (611)
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(971): View more from Oregon

It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food

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(971): It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food http://tfl.nu/42uv

Replies (1) Good night (385) Bad night (248)

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