her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize