Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
