are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
