When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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