It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
