would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Michael Bay diarrhea
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
