Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Oh god it's open bar.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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