Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
