y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
