I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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