she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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