Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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