What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
