is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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