I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
