Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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