Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we're making bets on your personal life
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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