I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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