Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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