Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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