don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
