so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
