I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
