I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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