He told me they were just razor bumps!
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
