She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
