shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
