Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
