Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
