just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize