I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
