Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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