This is not my ceiling
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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