I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
