we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
