i jhust puked up my retainher.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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