super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
