it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The convent might be a nice break from real life
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
