I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
