Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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