i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
