So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You were trust falling into bushes
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize