I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
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I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
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What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize