hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
id be glad to
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
