So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
