i just made my gag reflex go away.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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