Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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